Should we create more socially mixed residential areas, where rich people live next to poorer people, instead of in separate communities?
In order to answer this question, we must first examine weather people really want to mix the different residential areas. Not all the habitants of all cities in the world want to mix it. However there maybe some people that want to unite both communities. So let's assume that by and large there is a point to discuss: should we mix the residencial area?
To my mind, mixing poorer and richer residential areas isn’t a problem but most of the people have a prejudice with it. Indeed, there are many examples of people that have tried to mix the residential area but in the end there is a border between then, for example in my own town there is a luxury building and right in front of it there is a huge “favela”. Some people believe that favelas and poorer areas is an issue and can bring a high chance of crimes, on the other hand some others think that it isn't a problem and just live with it, as long as people respect each other.
Admittedly, there are examples that people have disrespected the other in both ways, like when someone put a loud music and don’t care about the others, as I have said it can happen to everybody , richer or poorer. But, people can live and learn with others and mixing residential areas is a good way to start this new habit. I think we haven't started yet because people don't like to change and are used to this situation and this simple change can make a difference for a future generation.
Although we have to respect both sides, I utterly believe that many countries, like my own, Brazil, are “late” in this point and really have to improve and develop a new way to live without this huge difference, if we constantly reproduced what was there before we would all still be living in a disordered city with a big wall to protect us from others. Thus I would argue for that mixing residential areas and do something to reunite communities, even though that might be risk risky at first because no one likes changing.
Your text is really good , you make clear your opinion during the text, and that could be saw in your argumentation when you brake the contrasting ideas with your own experience, the text is also well structured, you have respect the rules of an essay and your ideas are correctly linked, that makes easy to understand what are you trying to say, because of that I think your text interesting and convincing.
ReplyDeleteBK
It's interesting to have some mixed areas as you proposed. Even if it has a risk, since changing is something difficult to people, I think it is worth.
ReplyDeleteTo my mind your text structure is fine, but you should work more on specifying, giving examples, and commenting each argument and point of view, because otherwise your point of view is to vague and doesn’t really transmit the information clearly.
ReplyDeleteFor an example, in paragraph 3 you wrote about how loud music is a form of disrespect and that it could be an issue in socially mixed residential areas, but because you didn’t give examples or work on that point, the reader can’t relate or understand why it would be a problem for only a singular and specific kind of neighborhood, and not all of them. Because of that, all the paragraph doesn’t add anything important and essential to your text.